Self in Exile Disorder


line decor
line decor



The Promises of Recovery

As survivors of this type of emotional distortion or abuse,
we have an essential task:
 To transform suffering into meaning:

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experiences can benefit others.

Our usefulness as channels for healing will be a direct result of our experiences in the disorder as well as in recovery.

We will have no more tolerance for living the lie.

We will be willing to allow discomfort in the service of truth. Through facing inescapable pain we will develop the qualities of enduring honesty and accountability

We will be stand alone people capable of defending our truth.
By sharing what we have to give to eachother, we will create a profound sense of human community which will  nurture and strengthen us.

 Where once we experienced anguish, we will find a gentle and wholesome dignity awakening within us.  

Trust will be restored,  as we learn to trust ourselves and build trust in others.

  The inconsolable part of ourselves which is the shame core will be replaced. 
Our sense of self will incorporate humility and flexibility.

Never again will we let things not matter.
  We will be part of a larger purpose.

 Our values will help to define us, we will have clarity of belief and depth of purpose.

We will come to know the vastness of our emotions but we will not be slaves to them. 

  Hand in hand with the spirit of the universe, 
we will be playing our part in healing ourselves and eachother.

Adapted from:  AA and SLAA literature, ‘The Betrayal Bond’
by Patrick Carnes, Disorders of the Self.


We believe these promises to be attainable for us when we work for them.